Show: The humble Farmer

Episode: humble 2011 0227.mpg


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Episode Description:

Well received by the intelligentsia in Northern New England, this is the same old fashioned music and humorous social commentary show The humble Farmer has produced every week since April 6, 1978 for radio and now for television.

Music by: Clark Terry, Earl Hines, Rob Connell, Frank Sinatra, Natalie Cole, and Denny Breau.

This show contains 1.34 minutes of The humble Farmer live on stage in Rockland, and 5.49 minutes of guitarist Denny Breau live on stage on Monhegan.

The video over the music shows Route 80 going east out of Fort Myers.

The show is tightly scripted. It starts out with a clip of a Red Sox sign on a house. Here's the humorous commentary for The humble Farmer show for the week of February 27, 2011.
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1. I just read that zinc deficiency can cause a "spacey" feeling that some vegetarians may mistake for the "high" of spiritual enlightenment. And I’m going to leave that right there for you to think about because anything I might say would get me in trouble with three or four dozen of the world’s most popular religions.
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2. You probably remember hearing that every truth passes through three stages before it is recognized. In the first, it is ridiculed, in the second it is opposed, in the third it is regarded as self evident. You have also heard that the truth will set you free, but speaking it, in the first stage we just mentioned, can make you feel ridiculous. A friend invited me over for a lobster feed. He said that the great lobster cooker Dougie Anderson from Port Clyde, Maine was going to officiate, so I knew the lobsters would be cooked just right. But when I showed up in the back lawn at the appointed hour of noon, although several huge kettles were in place, I was told that Dougie couldn’t make it, nothing was happening and there was no way of knowing if it would be four hours or six hours before they would even start to boil the water. A nice man who used to own several car dealerships in Maine sat down beside me at one of the tables and said he’d like to chat. He said he remembered seeing me filming another gathering a year or so ago. But by then a couple of people showed up with cigars and cigarettes and I knew I was going to have to go home. My excuse came when someone turned up the volume on some of the most horrible music I have ever heard. I quickly jumped up and told my friend that I was going to have to leave because I couldn’t stand the entertainment. As I started toward the car and walked out around the pool I noticed a real live person singing into a microphone --- and realized --- that it was one of those Karaoke boxes. It was just as well I left. With my luck the singer was probably his wife.

3. I just read in the newspaper that "large retail stores are bad for the economy and should not be built." There are those who are oblivious to that great sucking sound of dollars leaving Maine through big box stores and casinos and banks and insurance companies and there are the others, like myself, who would just as soon see dollars circulate in Maine. A Maine State Bank like the state bank they have in North Dakota would be a good start at keeping your money and your business here in Maine. I admit that I would rather walk into your little store and give my money to you than shop in a big box. Anyone who can remember the many businesses that were in their area 50 or more years ago realizes that most of them are gone. In Rockland about the only things we can buy without going to a big box store are burgers, insurance, oil, cars and art. You might even remember that a few car dealerships near you have recently closed their doors, so things are moving right along. In 1950 most dollars spent in a Rockland store might have passed from hand to hand in Knox County several times. Now most dollars spent in a big box store are sucked out of the area, not to be seen again until our mighty country begs China for one more loan --- and every cent we spend in a big box store makes it more impossible to repay the last one. You and I know who makes the items we buy every day and knowing that every dollar we give them helps put one more American out of work bothers us not at all.
You would probably tell me that we could escape this downward spiral --- this lose-lose economic situation we find ourselves in today if we were only to stop buying anything that was not made in the USA. But then where would we get the things we need --- unless we have our own blacksmith shop and animals out back in the barn?
And how could we afford to buy an American made item anyway if we are scraping by on the wages paid by big box stores? Yes, more Americans who have lost their businesses to big box stores are employed by low-paying big box stores than ever before. But how many do you suppose would eagerly move next door into a plant that paid them $22 an hour for manufacturing plastic widgets? You’re right. There are a lot of things happening in Maine and America today that you and I are wondering about, and I don’t claim to have the definitive answer. But a Maine State Bank like the North Dakota bank that is keeping the dollars circulating in North Dakota would be a good start.
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4. There is presently a move afoot here in Maine to set up cameras that would take pictures of vehicles running stop lights or stop signs. If you ask any of my closest friends and my closest relative why they do not like to ride with me, they will tell you it is because I stop at stop signs. I enjoy riding with them, because they wind her right through. I admit it. I am an old fuddy-duddy. For the past 40 or so years --- ever since I taught driver education in Rockland and Waldoboro – I have stopped at stop signs.
This does not make me better or worse than anyone else, but I do it, even though there are situations where even a fool knows it would be safer to simply slow down, look, and go through. Many times over the past 40 years --- 6 or 8 times --- I have been struck in the rear end when I stopped at a stop sign. You see, the people tailgating me expect me to run that stop sign like most everyone else in this law-abiding land, and they are looking left to see if a car is coming so they can run it, too, and are not looking at the character in front of them who, against everything that is right and reasonable in America, stops dead in his tire tracks. Kaboom. You certainly know that many progressive countries have yield signs in some places where we have stop signs and you might remember what a joy it was to drive there. Wouldn’t you welcome yield signs here? Then you wouldn’t have to first look for cops before running the stop sign that is presently there. If you haven’t already seen it, you should watch the YouTube piece on the police camera that enables an officer to drive down the road or through a parking lot and immediately spot a stolen car. The argument about cameras turning us into a police state is a curious one because there is no question but what over the past 10 years our very own votes have brought us closer to totalitarianism than we’ve ever been before. So you might explain to me why the very people who have consistently voted for a police state would oppose a camera that might catch them going through a stop sign.
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5. Someone told my wife she would enjoy reading Pillars of The Earth. Knowing that it is about life in England 800 years ago I found a synopsis of the plot. Halfway through the first paragraph it said, “Alfred comes to despise Jack because he is clever and can read.” Nothing changes. This is probably the most delineating dichotomy in our society today.
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6. Last night my friend Winky heard on the TV news that there is so much snow and ice out there that anyone travelling should make sure that they have a shovel, tire chains, a bag of rock salt, a flashlight and booster cables. Winky said he felt like a fool getting on the bus this morning.
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7. Have you ever heard of a television show called Ice Truckers? Here’s a letter from a very astute radio friend named Pete who lives way up in northern Maine, and Pete says, "Ice Truckers" is a sort of slow-motion NASCAR by producers who have read too much Jack London.
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8. (110224 PRX Robert) (110224 Lynda Clancy) You might have read that an 11-year-old boy from Colorado was handcuffed and arrested after drawing stick figures in school of himself drawing a gun at other figures, with the words "teachers must die." Nobody would have thought twice about this if the kid had a nation-wide syndicated show on talk radio.
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9. All I know about the recent Camden Conference is what I read in the paper: "Freeman tied China’s success, in part, to improved college education. America too needs to improve its higher education, he said." One would expect to see red lights flash and hear buzzers sound when people say dangerous things like this. Would not that stalwart defender of all America stands for, Joseph McCarthy, have deported the man for this? And this? --- “The best thing America can do for its college students is to give them passports, he said.” You know that I got an important part of my education in Europe, and you’ve heard me beating that drum for years. There are many people in Camden who have lived abroad and still read European newspapers. They have little in common with their neighbors whose mental nourishment comes from talk radio. Education is dangerous. Have we not learned that educated young people are likely to vote for liberal causes? And have we not also read that a real education encourage young people to leave the church? Patriotic, flag-waving, home-schooled Americans might find these things to be disturbing. And would not a college education for all Americans completely destroy one of our great political parties and bring another one back to the values it hasn’t embraced for 70 years? So forget this education stuff and keep your eye on that Camden Conference. Wouldn’t bottom-line America benefit more if our kids spent a couple of years in the military --- or simply had half a dozen babies and got a nice job at Walmart?
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Thank you for considering The humble Farmer.

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Date SD Episode Video Uploaded: Monday, March 21, 2011 - 06:54


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