Show: The humble Farmer

Episode: humble 2010 1010.mpg

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Episode Description:

Well received by the intelligentsia in Northern New England, this is the same old fashioned music and humorous social commentary show The humble Farmer has produced every week since April 6, 1978 for radio and now on television.
Music by: Clark Terry, Woody Herman, Django Reinhardt, Brad Terry, Harry Allen, Jack Sheldon and Wingy Manone

The show is tightly scripted. Here's the humorous commentary for The humble Farmer show for the week of October 10, 2010
1. When my friend Winky was very young, he went to the senior class prom with a girl who was wearing a low, low-cut off the shoulder dress. And after a while curiosity got the best of him and Winky said, “What is keeping that dress on you?” She said, “Only the onions on your breath.”
2. You have heard me say that most every morning I read a blog that is sent to me by a daily newspaper. I enjoy reading the letters that the articles generate. But they recently printed an interesting and informative article about a job fair --- and not one reader had a thing to say about it. Usually articles generate 70 or more heated responses from people calling each other names. But no one had a thing to say about this job fair. Doesn’t that carry a powerful economic statement to the publisher? A newspaper that doesn’t deliver up yellow journalism to the lowest denominator in the public won’t last long.
3. Winky has given up his five-mile morning run because of the cold fall weather and is now getting most of his exercise by attending square dances. Winky claims he gets more than three times the workout of an average aerobics class because the caller stutters.
4. This week I cut down a couple of huge cherry trees that had died on the stump and I used my chainsaw to peel off all the soft rotted wood on the outside. And I got to thinking that you could compare me with a half rotted cherry tree. Once you get it cleaned up it will get you through a cold night.
5. I was telling my friend Dan about the Common Ground Fair. Everybody goes. Everyone enjoys watching the little dogs that herd the sheep. Dan said, “Ugh. Don’t ever get a border collie.” He said that he was once with a bunch of dog walkers out in the woods and without noticing what had happened the border collies had herded all their owners together. They were all so close they were touching --- shoulder to shoulder and chest to chest. Don’t you hope that lonely young people in big cities are listening?
6. I recently had a chance to use my somewhat limited Spanish. The woman making the courtesy call for Discover card had a strong Spanish accent, so when she asked if Marsha was home, I said, "Que lastimme, No esta aqu” She asked, "So she's not home?" I said, "Claro." She said she'd call back later and I said, "Merci."
7. You might remember that I like beans and spaghetti and could happily live on them until the day I die. Please hear this letter from Brent: Dear humble, I do find you unusually paradoxical since your erudition, intelligence and academic history come across loud and clear on your show. You have a voracious passion and understanding of the social and cultural happenings around you, which are most often associated with sophistication and depth of knowledge/wisdom.....Whereas your culinary interests seem very basic and working class, that harken to your youth, years of bachelorhood, addiction to your desk top, poverty, an artist caught up in the thrall of his muses??? --- Thank you Brent. My discriminating taste when it comes to meals also applies to women, and is not regretted when I look around and see friends who were obviously hooked by their first entre.
8. Who hasn’t heard of Oil of Olay? There is no question in my mind, that if a woman uses Oil of Olay between the ages of 30 and 50, at the age of 50 she will have the same complexion she had at 30 --- as long as she doesn’t smoke and has doesn’t sit outside in the sun. I present to you this evidence that women who use Oil of Olay do so with the understanding that it is not a panacea and that eventually more drastic steps will be necessary. Please listen closely. A woman who was in a remarkable state of preservation recently sat at our breakfast table. One wondered why this woman was traveling with a man old enough to be her father, until it was revealed, with fanfare, that she was 55 years old. I was not surprised that anyone 55 could look so much younger, and to prove my point I brought up the web page that contains pictures of my Radio Friends and showed her a picture that was taken of me when I was 55. I looked like a little kid. I told her that she would soon discover, as I did, that there comes a day when crow’s feet do come home to roost. I told her that I didn’t know exactly when it happened, but on one quiet, unannounced day within the past 15 years I suddenly looked my age. And that woman smiled at me and said, “Well, that’s why they made paper bags.”
9. There are people who are not suited to live in cold climates and I am one of them. Fortunately it is possible to buy insulated garments that keep heat in against your body and the cold out, and for countless people like me who can’t stand the cold, sensible winter clothing is the only thing that makes November in Maine tolerable. By the first of October I’m already wearing socks and warm, wooly bootlike things that keep my feet and ankles warm. Although I can’t wear long johns because they make my ankles itch I do wear insulated pants over my dungarees. I put on a warm sweater and on top of that my snowmobile suit. It goes without saying that I have a knit watchcap that comes down over my ears. And, dressed like that, I can manage to stay toasty warm and comfortable --- unless I have to go outdoors.
10. Do you jump up and obey every time your wife barks a command? If you are newly married you might. But those of us who enjoy marriages that might be compared to a butter nut squash just before the first frost --- that is men who have marriages that have mellowed and ripened to a satisfying state of perfection, do not jump up at her first words. Any experienced husband will tell you why. No matter what my wife Marsha, The Almost Perfect Woman says, you can bet that as soon as she says it the little cogs and wheels in her head start to move --- you know --- to evaluate all of the attendant ramifications --- and within 30 seconds she has changed her mind and says just the opposite. On the other hand, she thinks that I am wishy-washy --- that is, that I don’t really mean something when I say it, because --- should I say, “two helpings of chicken is enough,” she always says, “Are you sure?”

Thank you for considering The humble Farmer.

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File Name of SD Episode: humble 2010 1010.mpg

Total SD Episode Video Runtime (hh:mm:ss): 00:55:56

File Size of SD Episode Video: 2,660,644,868 Bytes

Resolution of SD Episode Video: 720x480

Date SD Episode Video Uploaded: Tuesday, October 26, 2010 - 11:38

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