Show: The humble Farmer

Episode: humble 2015 0208

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Episode Description:

Synopsis of The humble Farmer TV show for February 8, 2015

Thank you for looking at a program called “Making Maine Apple Cider”

56 minutes. This show includes 4.2 minutes of Denny Breau playing guitar in concert with The humble Farmer at the Monhegan schoolhouse.

Although The humble Farmer is just as contrived as any reality show, here you will see no overweight people with tattoos pretending to repossess automobiles or emaciated wealthy models getting a massage. But don’t give up.

Well received in Northern New England as a radio show for 35 years, this is the same old fashioned music and humorous social commentary show that has delighted young and old alike every week since April 6, 1978 for radio --- and now for television.

Most of the video over the music is of humble and Marsha picking up apples on their back lawn and then seeing them converted into apple cider in their neighbor’s back yard.

Music is by: Clark Terry, Ted Weems, Clarence Williams, Harry Allen, Count Basie, Errol Garner, and Denny Breau.

Tame fare, you say, for viewers expecting someone to be shot, arrested or blown up. But isn’t playing with a cider press that can grind off fingers a good start?

The show is tightly scripted. It starts out with shots of humble driving his 1919 Model T ford in the front yard. Then Marsha and humble rake up apples, with the cows looking on. At the middle of the show the apples are ground into sweet Maine cider The show ends, as usual, with the Keystone Cops driving a car off the end of a dock.
The humorous and/or informative commentary that humble delivers between the songs is approximated below:
TV Rants February 8, 2015
1. My wife Marsha, The Almost Perfect Woman, told me one morning that Subway has thrown in a soda and a bag of chips with their $6 sandwich. Does this seem to negate any health benefit you might get from eating at Subway?
2. You might have been thinking about this healthcare for all Americans issue and realize that crushing the poorest Americans with catastrophic medical debt was one of the surest ways of separating them from whatever home and savings they might have and ensuring that they would be willing to work for whatever wages offered. Yes, if you were looking for an unlimited supply of slave laborers wouldn’t you definitely be against healthcare for all Americans?
3. Just for you, here’s another gee whiz fact from my new oceanography book. Our first postmaster noticed that the English mailboat took two weeks longer to come from England than it took to go to England. Whaling captains, who had encountered the British mail boats, had often told them that they could make better time if they stayed out of the current that is now known as the Gulf Stream. But the English captains wouldn't take advice from ignorant fishermen. When Franklin finally determined that the mail boats should stay out of the gulf stream on the way here from England, he instructed them to do so. But even then the captains wouldn't do it. Thank goodness that not even the most ignorant American walking the planet today would refuse to accept recent scientific discoveries because of political, economic or religious convictions. Haven't we come a long way?
4. You know that I’m interested in how language changes. When I was a boy in 1943 there were a lot of words that people printed in the newspapers that would get you thrown off the air if you said them on radio or television today. And today you hear words on television that --- well, I’m so old that I can’t bring myself to say them, because they were very nasty words 70 years ago. Did you ever stop to think that seaweed didn’t become respectable until they started processing it in Rockland and calling it marine algae? How long will it be before eating becomes a dirty word and we have to call it biological energy transfer?
5. Guess what I read in the introduction to chapter 10 in my new Oceanography book? It says when a few folks realized that too many houses were being washed away by our rapidly rising oceans, an agency called NFIP was instructed to make people build far enough back so their houses wouldn't drop into the sea or slide off a cliff.. You might know that Rockland harbor is a bit wider than it was when Louie was selling hot dogs off Main Street. "By the time members of Congress had alleviated concerns of the banking, construction, and real estate industries, however, the NFIP program had become a vast subsidy that supported risky overdevopment of the U. S. coastal region." So, "In spite of the NFIP, the government still pays out billions of dollars with each flood disaster in the form of grants and loan subsidies to repair and replace high-risk structures --- in direct opposition to what the program was supposed to prevent!" You know that I write this in an attempt to educate my friends: It is not big government that is the cause of this nation's woes, but the corporate interests that have the people they placed in Congress hopping like puppets on strings. Only when we can convince our friends to help us outvote big business will we have a government that is of the people, by the people and for the people. Don't look for it in my lifetime.
6. If you have heard The humble Farmer radio program you have heard me play Garner. Because Garner was often recorded at concerts, you can hear the applause when he walks out on stage. And, after he has worked his way through a convoluted intro, and he launches into Lulu's Back In Town, you can hear the audience applaud. You and I have always been impressed by the fact that individuals are not applauding because they like a particular song, but to let everyone else in the audience know that they are clever enough to recognize the tune. Most of us need to be recognized for our achievements and abilities. (My brother was and is a rare exception and, although he usually knew the answer, would not raise his hand in class to let the professor and other students know that he knew. This made him very popular among the faculty and students because they knew that he knew. And when called upon he would never blurt out the answer, but would preface it with, "I think it might be ..." or "Perhaps it is..." in the manner suggested by --- well, I don't need to say it because you know who.) For years one of the services I provided to the most intelligent people in Northern New England on my radio show was throwing out scraps of esoteric information that they could already write a book about. They felt good about themselves because they knew that there were only a few other people who knew what I was talking about. --- Or that they had walked that road many times and could provide me with abundant footnotes. I gave people something to think about, so I provided a service. Your letters give me something to think about, so you are providing me with a service. Please send me a letter and tell me what you’ve been doing or thinking about lately. I can’t do this without you. Thank you for listening.
7. Listen to this foolishness that I tolerate on my Facebook page. I said that I paid $3 for a small stepladder at a moving sale. Craig said, Perhaps it was emotionally moving? Sharon said, I love your easy explanation of what actual "visiting" entails. Good job shopping. I'm appalled that I paid $8 today at Goodwill for a new outfit ~ skirt & top. Normally I shop the Salvation Army thrift store on half price days. Faye said, Me too. Craig said, I spin my own cloth from flax. Sharon asked, Craig, do you grow your own flax? Craig replies, No, you got me. I order it online. John Leeke says, Be sure to save the seeds and make paint out of them. Does this give you the impression that there are a lot of very intelligent people out there who have absolutely nothing to do?
8. All I know about this is what I heard, and it seems as someone got blind drunk and then staggered off, bare butt naked, and tried to start a fire on the floor of a nearby woodshed. Upon hearing this I quickly whipped out the little notebook you’ve seen me carry on my right pant leg. I wrote down the following salient points. Please listen closely. The property owner heard the commotion outside and dialed 911. By this time, the drunk’s friends had found him and put out the fire. Meanwhile the drunk had run off into the woods, still bare butt naked. Later, a fireman reported seeing him out on the main road so the property owner once again called 911, this time to alert the sheriff. And what do you think the dispatcher said when she was told that a naked man was staggering down the road? “Can you give me a description?”
Your viewers and I thank you for considering The humble Farmer. Have fun.

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Date SD Episode Video Uploaded: Monday, February 16, 2015 - 20:35

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