Show: The humble Farmer

Episode: humble 2014 0810

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Episode Description:

Synopsis of The humble Farmer TV show for August 10, 2014

Thank you for looking at a program called “A Step In The Right Direction”

56 minutes. This show includes a 3.41 minute clip of Denny Breau singing and playing guitar.

Although The humble Farmer is just as contrived as any reality show, here you will see no overweight people with tattoos pretending to repossess automobiles or emaciated wealthy models getting a massage.

Well received in Northern New England as a radio show for 36 years, this is the same old fashioned music and humorous social commentary show that has delighted young and old alike every week since April 6, 1978 for radio --- and now for television.

Most of the video over the music is of humble building some steps in his solar radiant heated cellar. No one is cheering from the sidelines.

Music is by: Clark Terry, Bix Beiderbecke, Spike Jones, Oscar Peterson, Paul Desmond, Gerry Mulligan, Annette Hanshaw and Denny Breau.

Tame fare, you say, for viewers expecting someone to be shot, arrested or blown up.

The show is tightly scripted. It starts out with humble dumping grass clippings on his garden. The show ends, as usual, with the Keystone Cops driving a car off the end of a dock.
The humorous and/or informative commentary that humble delivers between the songs is approximated below:
Rants August 10, 2014
1. We all have embarrassing moments. The theater has capitalized on this down through the ages, and now small children are exposed to embarrassing moments in television sitcoms. They unfold like this: the protagonist is either doing something he shouldn’t be doing or accidentally finds himself naked and locked out of house or in some other unbearably embarrassing situation. Any friend who sees him engaged in this activity will think that he is a fool. I came close to having it happen to me while I was eating dinner one day. I turn on the television set is when I eat alone. My wife Marsha, The Almost Perfect Woman, more often than not prepares a plate for me from supper leftovers which I pop into the microwave for dinner the following day. That day I sat down before the tube, little folding table in front of me with the warm plate of food on that. I clicked until I came to the news, which lasted until I was half way through my second ear of corn on the cob. Are you listening? The news ended, my fingers were all butter from the corn so I couldn’t change the channels or shut off the television. There I was, trapped in my chair. Imagine how I felt, knowing, that at any moment one of my friends could have walked in and thought that I was watching, “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”
2. It had just started to sprinkle when I drove into the dooryard so I jumped out of the truck and was yanking the clothes off the line when a squall hit. A fitted sheet was yanked off the line and disappeared over the top of a garage 200 feet away. I’d never seen anything like it. Later in the day, when I mentioned it to my friend Richard, I asked him if he’d ever seen a tornado. He said he had seen a tornado only once. It was doubly memorable because it was on the day when he divorced his wife. They split their estate between them. Among other things, he got one house and she got another house located a few hundred feet away. Because this was a friendly divorce they had gone out for dinner with a mutual friend and had just returned to the house that now belonged to him, when they heard a noise like a freight train approaching. They knew that something bad was about to happen so they ran down cellar. Whoom. The tornado went by, and when they came out a few shingles had been ripped off his house. But they could see that his ex wife’s house was gone. She said, “Oh Richard, what are we going to do? And Richard said, “What do you mean, we?”
3. Some people in our neighborhood know that Mr. Ewell was the first man in town to have an automobile. While everyone else was still getting around with horses, Mr. Ewell took a chance and bought a car. Many of my neighbors have no idea of how solar systems work or how much money they could be saving if they some panels on the roof. Talk about compartmentalized thinking: My friends complain about paying their taxes but think nothing of shelling out thousands of dollars every year to the oil and electric companies. Can you believe I am a pioneer in an unfamiliar but budding new technology? When it comes to saving money on oil and electricity, most of my neighbors are still blissfully living in the expensive old horse and buggy days. 100 years from now do you suppose some people will know that I was a pioneer like Mr. Ewell who had the first car? --- The humble Farmer was the first person in town to heat his cellar and pay his electric bill with free energy from the sun.
4. As someone who is not in the socio-economic class of people who can afford to have a cell phone, I was amazed to read that men, women and children are addicted to the things and manifest withdrawal symptoms when forced to live without them. Too many of the kids I read about in a book are addicted to television or their cell phones. It would seem to be the greatest problem children face in our time. Hundreds of years ago children were collected up and sent out on crusades to wrest the Holy Land from infidels. Along the way, they ended up being sold off as slaves. And then there were the children Dickens wrote about who worked in factories 14 hours a day in return for a whipping and a bowl of gruel. It would seem that children face a crisis in every age. Ours are no different.
5. Do you exercise outside when it is cold? How cold is cold? One of the children lives in Fort Kent. She said she lost 15 pounds by walking one winter, which was easy to do because the only mornings they didn’t walk was when it was too cold. If it was 18 below it was OK. Any colder than 18 below is too cold to walk in Fort Kent.
6. One morning I was pleased to get an email from a man who teaches rock climbing at Drexel University. I think it is down Philadelphia way, where The humble Farmer TV show runs. All he said was, "Ha ha ha" which is all the encouragement a performer needs. Perhaps I should take up rock climbing, just to build my upper torso and impress my wife. It would also cut down on the number of bullies who kick sand in my face at the beach. Rock climbers are appearing in several commercials for international banks, so proficiency at clinging to a rock wall might open up a door for employment. I would be willing to be filmed climbing a rock wall without wearing a helmet. And you should think about this. Is a helmet going to make a bit of difference if you drop 675 feet?
7. I enjoy my Facebook page because I can write anything I want on it. I enjoy writing the same things over and over, so some people complain that I never enrich their lives with anything new and exciting. But that’s OK because they if they want to be bored they don’t need me. They can turn on a television set. For 35 years I have cultivated my radio friends who have followed me along to my Facebook page because they are very smart and are always passing along some interesting scrap of information that enriches my life. Today the Internet makes it possible to learn more than you want to know about Vigeland or Albert H. Marckwardt in a matter of seconds. Questions about how to best pick blueberries or fix the brakes on a 37 Ford are welcome on my Facebook page. Collectively, we know everything there is to know and if you ask a question, someone is very likely to be able to help you. When used properly, a Facebook page can be a very valuable tool. I use it to write and collect rants for my radio program. What do you do with yours?
8. Do you eat deep fried chicken wings? Why or why not? For years I have labored under the (perhaps mistaken) impression that deep fried anything is not the food of choice of those planning to live past 100. Being a rational man, I am always glad to change my opinion when shown facts that would warrant my doing so which is why I’m asking you about it now. I Googled quite a few sites last night trying to learn more about deep fried chicken wings and found as many opinions as there are about why Americans feel good about themselves when they vote for a system that makes it necessary to collect food for hungry children at Christmas time. I still know no more about deep fried chicken than I do about why many Americans are terrified of a political system that has eliminated hunger and rotten teeth.
9. You might have read that although for an extra $6 some hotels welcome your pet, there are often size restrictions which limit pets to 25 pounds. I don’t understand this, because I have seen 10 pound dogs chew down doors and I have seen pigs that are housebroken. What do you think about that weight limit on pets? What do you think would happen if Union Fair had a rule that said that nothing weighing over 300 pounds would be allowed on the grounds unless it were wearing a halter? Would there be much less crowding around the fried dough booths?
Thank you for considering The humble Farmer. Have fun.

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Total SD Episode Video Runtime (hh:mm:ss): 00:55:59

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Date SD Episode Video Uploaded: Saturday, December 13, 2014 - 06:35

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