Show: The humble Farmer

Episode: humble 2014 1130

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Episode Description:

Synopsis of The humble Farmer TV show for November 30, 2014

Thank you for looking at a program called “The Great Beet Harvest”

Remember that humble grew up during the beet generation.

56 minutes. This show includes a 2.56 minute clip of Denny Breau singing and playing guitar.

Although The humble Farmer is just as contrived as any reality show, here you will see no overweight people with tattoos pretending to repossess automobiles or emaciated wealthy models getting a massage.

Well received in Northern New England as a radio show for 36 years, this is the same old fashioned music and humorous social commentary show that has delighted young and old alike every week since April 6, 1978 for radio --- and now for television.

Most of the video over the music is of humble harvesting his carrots and beets. No one is cheering from the sidelines.

Music is by: Clark Terry, Ukelele Ike, Bix Beiderbecke, Spike Jones, Erroll Garner, Frank Sinatra and Denny Breau.

Tame fare, you say, for viewers expecting someone to be shot, arrested or blown up.

The show is tightly scripted. It starts out with humble digging carrots from beneath 8 inches of snow in his back yard. The show ends, as usual, with the Keystone Cops driving a car off the end of a dock.
The humorous and/or informative commentary that humble delivers between the songs is approximated below:
Rants November 30, 2014

1. Your car is German. Your vodka is Russian. Your pizza is Italian. Your kebab is Turkish. Your democracy is Greek. Your coffee is Brazilian. Your movies are American. Your tea is Tamil. Your shirt is Indian. Your oil is Saudi Arabian. Your electronics are Chinese. Your letters Latin. And your days are numbered.
2. Here’s a letter from radio friend Peter down in Buxton. He is obviously commenting on the show where we discussed the demise of the Maine outhouse. Peter says, “I'm right here, of course! Right here in the City of Buxton, Maine, that is. I married into a Maine family, up in Baldwin, who lived in a huge white farmhouse with attached shed and barn (they didn't call it an "ell," but then they speak with a different Maine dialect from you. Their 'flush' was built into the shed, right where the outhouse had been, because it was near the leach field for the kitchen, so you had to excuse yourself from the living room, wander through the dining room/kitchen room and then out into the (heated!) outhouse to use the flush. For a boy from away, this was a lesson in geography. Pete (known by my Maine family as "Pee'-tuh") . . . but of course they've all moved to Florida now and I've remarried. Took me a long time to find the world's finest woman; sorry I got to her first. We’d like to thank Peter for writing and we’d like to hear from you, too. I’m the humble farmer at gmail dot com
3. Here’s another letter. Can it be from the same Pete? I don’t think so. This one says, Deah Humble, In your excitement to tell us "away" people about the sagging of barns, you flittingly mentioned "the ell." A much more important reason our barns have stood up so well here in Maine is that -- not only to feed the cows -- it was MUCH more convenient to visit the outhouse when it was in the ell. Only recently has the "indoor flush" come to Maine, and simply because of it, we've now begun to visit the barns less and less. Hence the decay. Pete (born in Brooklyn, NY; assigned by the Navy to NAS Brunswick in 1968; Maine native ever since)
4. My hearing aids now enable me to hear a mosquito scratch his ear on the other side of the room. My friend Julian said he didn't know why that information would be of interest to anyone unless you were a bird who ate flies.
5. Someone called television a vast wasteland. Can this be true when we can watch educational shows like Hoarder? What do you think about the programs that are offered up on the screen in your living room? I’m the humble farmer at gmail dot com.
6. Do you find this to be interesting? I wrote on my Facebook page that I stopped in to see a friend yesterday and her son said she'd been dead 17 months." And, putting herself in my shoes, my friend wrote: “Most people (including yourself) lead busy lives and it's customary to make a quick phone call before planning a visit to make sure your friend will be home and that the day and time will be convenient. A call like that would have saved you that awkward moment, Robert.” Well, let me say that for years I've made a habit of dropping in on these people. They are on a road that I sometimes travel and when I go by, I stop in. It is not customary for me to call people before I drop in. In the first place, I don't know when I'm going to be there. And in the second place, if I don't get there they have waited in vain and tell me later how I wasted their day because all they did was sit around and wait for me. And as far as being awkward, I don't do awkward. You might see awkward when you look at me and you might feel awkward when you look at me --- but having been on stage making a fool of myself before hundreds of audiences for 30 years, I can't think of anything that would make me feel awkward. However, I can remember what it was like as a beginner on stage and I can feel your pain.
7. Marsha read something to me about Trekkers. I said I'd never heard of Trekkers. Marsha didn't believe it. You have never heard of Trekkers, either. Nobody has ever head of Trekkers.
As an example of how everyone doesn't know everything I recited the following limerick for her.
There was a young man from St. BeesWho was stung on the arm by a wasp.When asked, "Does it hurt?" He replied, "No it doesn't I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet." Marsha had never heard that limerick that we all learned as children. I guess all I'm saying is, "So there." Oh, this was brought to mind by this email that said: dBpoweramp Major Update Hello Robert Skoglund, This year has seen dBpoweramp updated to R15. dBpoweramp R15 is a native 64 bit application, it is faster, as well as removing the 4GB memory limitation. I have no idea of what this means. Please don't tell me, because, unless it will help me put 5 clapboards from Robbins Lumber on my house, I really don't want to know.
8. Do you eat bacon bits? I don’t even know what they are, unless it refers to bits of bacon. Somewhere I read: for the "bacon bits..."...if you crave bacon flavor try a teaspoonful of water, salt, and artificial smoke flavoring...and spare yourself the "fat"...unless it is the fat that you are really craving...then go for it!” My nutrition expert read this and said, “wholesome fat is good for you. The human body evolved as a fat burner, not a carb burner. Enjoy your [organic] bacon! One of the things that contributes to the happiness in my life is not knowing the difference between a carb and a protein.
9. Remember the old radio program called What’s My Line? They would have people with strange jobs on the show and the panel of experts would try to guess what that person did. I’ll bet that they would never have been able to guess what Grammy Bragg’s father did for a living. I heard that Grammy Bragg’s father Skillings worked in a logging camp in northern Maine. His job was to get up before anyone else and put his thumb on the bottom of the thermometer to warm it up to 20 below. Because if it was colder than 20 below, it was too cold to chop wood.
Thank you for considering The humble Farmer. Have fun.

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Date SD Episode Video Uploaded: Friday, December 12, 2014 - 16:33

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