Show: The humble Farmer

Episode: humble 2014 0803

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Episode Description:

Synopsis of The humble Farmer TV show for August 3, 2014

Thank you for looking at a program called “On The Henhouse Roof”

56 minutes. This show includes 3.43 minutes of Denny Breau singing and playing guitar in concert with The humble Farmer on Monhegan.

For four months humble’s camera was being repaired even as his computer failed to operate his Let’s Edit program. He bought a new editing program but was unable to learn how to run it. Then, in the summer while he is in Maine, humble has a life. Every day it seems a few radio and television friends stop in to chat. Or to see the henhouse or gardens they’ve seen on the great screen. Or something needs mowing or repair, so the days zip by without getting out a program for you. But now, hopefully, he is back in business, although you might notice a difference in the construction of the program. humble has to learn how to run it all over again.

Although The humble Farmer is just as contrived as any reality show, here you will see no overweight people with tattoos pretending to repossess automobiles or emaciated wealthy models getting a massage.

Well received in Northern New England as a radio show for 35 years, this is the same old fashioned music and humorous social commentary show that has delighted young and old alike every week since April 6, 1978 for radio --- and now for television.

Most of the video over the music is of 78-year-old humble creeping about on his henhouse roof putting on shingles here and there and putting in an aluminum gutter extension to divert rain water into the gutter. Always afraid of heights, climbing ladders is now even trickier for the old dodderer.

Music is by: Clark Terry, Scott Hamilton, Harry Allen, Art Tatum, Brad Terry, Peter Herman, Clarence Williams and Denny Breau.

Tame fare, you say, for viewers expecting someone to be shot, arrested or blown up.

The show is tightly scripted. It starts out with humble getting ready to attack his roofing project early in the morning before the August sun comes up. The show ends, as usual, with the Keystone Cops driving a car off the end of a dock.
The humorous and/or informative commentary that humble delivers between the songs is approximated below:

Rants August 3, 2014
1. Back before the days of sea legs when Maine restaurants made real lobster rolls, a real estate agent was asked to sell a house. This real estate agent was 100 percent honest and he knew his business. When it came to selling houses, there wasn't anyone this side of the County who could touch him. One day he got a call from a man in Boston who was going to come up from Boston on the train. He was going to arrive in Rockland at quarter past five, and he wanted to see that house. At quarter past four on the appropriate afternoon the agent had his friends in the fire department come over and pump two tank loads of water into the well. The Boston man was no fool, and he knew that unless wells were spring fed, they very often went dry in September and October. So his first question to the agent as they walked onto the property was, "How's the well hold out in the fall?" As the agent slid the cover off the well he said, "Why not check it out for yourself?"
2. My wife Marsha, The Almost Perfect Woman, has been cutting my hair for years. She started doing it way back when my friend, George the Barber, refused to prohibit smoking in his barber shop for fear of offending his gasping customers. I had to give up playing bass because the smoke drove me out of restaurants and clubs. And smoke even drove me out of my favorite barber shop. But Marsha's days of cutting my hair are over. Smokers have been legislated out of public places so I can go back to my barber. As you know, Marsha is a perfectionist. Whenever she does anything, there is nobody who can do it better. And therein lies my problem. Marsha cuts my hair so perfectly, that on the street I am often mistaken for a corporate lobbyist, and without the obscene financial remuneration I choose not to live with the shame.
3. My Facebook friend Claire Perry asks, How tall is Marsha? I don't know. But I am 5 foot 7 1/2 and she is just the right height for me. There is nothing more frightful than hugging one of Marsha’s friends who might be six-foot two. It gives a runt of a man the impression of being smothered by pillows in a horror movie. Whenever one of these towering beauties shows up, I always rush outside so I can extend my welcome while I’m standing on the bottom step.
4. Our dump yielded up a nice sturdy piece of pipe with 90 degree angles on both ends, so I got Wayne Hilt to shorten it on 3 ends and put flanges on the ends. The other day, when I was too weak to do anything else, I drilled four holes in the concrete wall, put in those plastic bolt holders, and bolted the rig to the cellar wall. Marsha has been lobbying for a handrail on these steps for a year or so. My brother tested it out and says it is just right. I should have filmed the project for my TV show. You would be amazed at the number of tools and boxes of stuff I had to assemble on these cellar stairs just to do this simple project. The project didn’t take as long to do as it would have if some expert had showed up to show me how to do it right.
5. If you do not attend the annual St. George Fire Department’s annual fundraising potluck, you are missing the greatest culinary event of the year. Admission is by donation. The money collected helps pay for the ambulance that hauls you to the hospital when you drop, so I figure it is money well spent. I think I’ve been hauled away in it once already, and unless I’m very lucky it won’t be too long before I get to ride in it again. But the food. The chicken was cooked to perfection. White meat almost two inches thick. Incredible. I don’t know where they found the bird. It was so good I asked the grillmeister what his name was so I could tell you. He said his name was Rick Freeman. I went back for seconds.
6. You know that I do not have the ability to recognize faces unless I have seen that face many times over a period of several months or years. I thought I recognized a face at the St. George Fire Department’s annual fundraising feast, so I asked the woman behind the face who she was. I said that she looked familiar. She reminded me of Edna Polky. I will not tell you her name, but I will tell you that she was tall and slender and that she told me that she had just lost 150 pounds. Wow. That impresses me. You have been told over and over that more than one-third of U. S. adults are obese. We’re doing better than that here because we read that only 25% of the people in Maine weigh a lot more than they should. A friend of mine had the flu last week and lost six pounds. Eight years ago I went to a radio convention in San Antonio and I gained six pounds. And right then, when I couldn’t tie my shoestrings, I decided to give up sweets. Oh I can eat one cookie, you say. Everything is ok in moderation. But there are those of us for whom that doesn’t work. We cannot eat only one dish of ice cream; any more than some people can’t have one drink of gin. And because I think I met a woman the other day who knows what you and I are talking about here, I’m going to track her down and see if she will tell you and me what she had to do to lose 150 pounds. I admire this woman, don’t you? Wouldn’t you like to hear what she can tell us? I hope she’ll talk with me on camera. Probably all she did was give up sweets.
7. You know you live in Maine when you can see 53 degrees on your thermometer on August 19th. The hourly forecast also gives me 53, so we agree on something. Where else in the world but on the coast of Maine can you drive by a Bed and Breakfast in the middle of August and see a sign that says, “Heated Room. Enjoy a Hot Shower”?

I think this is close to what is on the show. Thanks for your patience while I struggle to get back in business. In case you’re wondering, I didn’t fall off the roof.
Thank you for considering The humble Farmer. Have fun.

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SD (Standard Definition) File

File Name of SD Episode: humble 2014 0803.mpg

Total SD Episode Video Runtime (hh:mm:ss): 00:55:59

File Size of SD Episode Video: 2,660,673,540 Bytes

Resolution of SD Episode Video: 720x480

Date SD Episode Video Uploaded: Friday, September 12, 2014 - 05:35

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