Show: The humble Farmer

Episode: humble 2014 0316

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Episode Description:

Synopsis of The humble Farmer TV show for March 16, 2014

Thank you for looking at a program called “Repairing Machines”

56 minutes. This show includes a 5.56 minute clip of Denny Breau singing and playing guitar with Mark “Guitar” Miller..

Although The humble Farmer is just as contrived as any reality show, here you will see no overweight people with tattoos pretending to repossess automobiles or emaciated wealthy models getting a massage.

Well received in Northern New England as a radio show for 35 years, this is the same old fashioned music and humorous social commentary show that has delighted young and old alike every week since April 6, 1978 for radio --- and now for television.

Most of the video over the music is of humble cleaning and greasing the bearings in a bicycle. No one is cheering from the sidelines.

Music is by: Clark Terry, Chet Baker, Paul Desmond, Joe Pass, Oscar Peterson, Sonny Stitt, Nancy Wilson, Spike Jones and Denny Breau.

Tame fare, you say, for viewers expecting someone to be shot, arrested or blown up.

The show is tightly scripted. It starts out with humble repairing several different machines that have broken down. The show ends, as usual, with the Keystone Cops driving a car off the end of a dock.
The humorous and/or informative commentary that humble delivers between the songs is approximated below:
1. A Houlton woman was driving through Canadian customs with 9 screaming kids when the officer at the window asked her if she had any drugs or alcohol. She said, “If I had I would have used it by now.”
2. I read that Martin Heidegger had extramarital affairs with two of his students. Do you think that is worth mentioning in a professor’s biography? Wouldn’t it be more remarkable to find a famous professor who did not marry or have an affair with one of his or her grad students?
3. Someone named Clay Shirky says“For the last hundred years the big organizational question has been whether any given task was best taken on by the state, directing the effort in a planned way, or by businesses competing in a market.” The question could be easily answered by anyone who visits several countries, looks around, and sees in which countries they find the most people who have health insurance, the fewest people in jail and the fewest number of people who are getting food stamps. Can you understand why the way to go should be a big organizational question when Clay Shirky or anyone else with the price of a plane ticket could see it with their own eyes?
4. Although this winter has been unusually mild, January and February in Maine are usually times of poverty, hopelessness, discomfort and frustration. If you have any wood it is either frozen in the ground or covered with snow. A carpenter ant could starve to death on the wood a typical Maine man has in the barn by March 20th. That which is a ten minute job in the summer is either impossible or a career in the winter. Then, to add insult to injury, we have dozens of neighbors, who just couldn't stand the winters anymore, who send us postcards from Florida or Arizona, telling us how they miss Maine and how we must be enjoying the Maine winter. The newly fallen snow is so pretty. You think about how your truck slid off the edge of your driveway and you tried to call your friend who has a four wheeled drive but you can't because the lines have been taken down by the ice storm. On the bottom of their postcard they say they'll be back for the Friendship sloop races after the fog and black fly seasons have gone by. And you smile because that means you'll never see them again.
5. Listen to what I just read about this man named Saul Alinsky who was a master organizer. “In one of his puckish moods Saul talked the president of a university into letting him anonymously take an examination being administered to candidates for a doctorate in community organization. ‘Three of the questions were on the philosophy of and motivations of Saul Alinsky,’ writes Saul. ‘I answered two of them incorrectly.’” And, you’ve probably heard this. “To prove how hard it is for new writers to break in, Jerzy Kosinski uses a pen name to submit his bestseller Steps to 13 literary agents and 14 publishers. All of them reject it, including Random House, who had published it.”
6. This week my computer keeps telling me that I haven’t paid my Internet bill. I am asked to click on a link so I can give them my credit card information. Do you think this email could be from a crook who is phishing for information? You know the old saying: Give a man a fish, and he'll enjoy a good meal. Teach him how to phish and he'll scam the public for millions.
7. Did you know that as a cultist you can take classes in how to bring depressed people into your fold? I recently read a book by Chris Hedges who apparently took a several-day workshop with a cult guru. Chris tells, step by step, how they rehearse the speeches that will bring the sick, the sad, the suffering and the sorrowful into line so they will henceforth do exactly what the cult leaders want them to. If you are a drunk who has lost everything or a child who has recently lost a parent or a rejected lover, you are at a point in your life when you will quickly embrace the feigned friendship, attention, sympathy and a promised path (that will free you from worry) that is offered by these skilled professionals. One would imagine that top salesmen have taken similar courses that teach the steps to consummating a sale.
8. Speaking of cults reminds me of a very good and intelligent man I used to go lawn-sale-ing with. A natural salesman, he followed almost the exact steps I saw outlined in the book on how to get people to join a cult. After listening to my friend’s cheerful patter for a few minutes, instead of selling him something, the person running the lawnsale would go in the house and bring out something that they wanted to give him. I’ve seen him do it over and over. It’s all in the patter. It is to my credit that I do have the ability to learn. No better than the cultists I read of in the book, here's how I soften up a potential seller. The seller, or man and wife, or seller and companion, are often sitting in the shade behind rows of tables of assorted junk. As I walk up their driveway, they often say, "How are you today?" I say, "Today I am trying to boost the local economy. I am going to spend as much money here as possible. Please tell me how I can help you." Of course I say this real slow so they don't miss a word. I drawl it out. They are now at ease and on my side. I’m a delightful and somewhat foolish old Maine character. After chatting a while, I might say, "That is a very nice looking chain," as I extend a hand holding a dollar bill. It is a 25-foot logging chain with heavy links and hooks on both ends. "I'd really like to have that wonderful chain. Would you take a dollar for it?" Her husband has stepped into the house for a drink. The woman knows a sucker when she sees one and takes the dollar. Feeling somewhat guilty, I give her another dollar. If it wasn't for that final weakness I might have been heading up my own cult a long time ago.
9. I stumbled across some newspapers that weren’t printed in the United States. If you are an international traveler you know how interesting foreign newspapers can be. You can read about little insignificant things that aren’t important enough to get into the Wall Street Journal. According to one foreign newspaper, the Pentagon investigated some United States company that billed the army for cleaning some offices up to four times per day. I’ve lived with Marsha, The Almost Perfect Woman, for over 20 years, so I don’t see anything unusual about cleaning a room four times a day. Would you dare stand up at town meeting and say that the brave men who are defending our country don’t deserve clean offices? You’d be putting your patriotism on the line. Should any American company be suspected of criminal activity just because they bill the army for cleaning an office four times a day? Our present system depends on this kind of thing. Where else would all that political campaign money come from?
Thank you for considering The humble Farmer. Have fun.

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File Name of SD Episode: humble 2014 0316.mpg

Total SD Episode Video Runtime (hh:mm:ss): 00:55:56

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Date SD Episode Video Uploaded: Saturday, March 29, 2014 - 06:14

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