Show: The humble Farmer

Episode: humble 2013 1215

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Episode Description:

The humble Farmer TV show for December 15, 2013

Thank you for looking at: “My Name is Brad and I’m From Waterville.”

56 minutes. This show includes a 4.59 minute clip of Denny Breau and 12-year-old guitar prodigy Justin Lindsay at the November 17 concert in Lewiston.

Well received in Northern New England for 35 years, this is the same old fashioned music and humorous social commentary show that has delighted young and old alike every week since April 6, 1978 for radio --- and now for television.

Most of the video over the music is of humble digging his garden and putting up a rack to hold his solar collectors.

Music is by: Clark Terry, Spike Jones, Bix Beiderbecke, Chet Baker, Frank Sinatra, Marty Paich, Annette Hanshaw, Art pepper, Diana Krall and Denny Breau.

humble is joined again on camera by his smiling young friend, Sylvia with a testimonial from Brad in Waterville.

All of this is tame fare, indeed, for viewers expecting someone to be shot, arrested or blown up.

The show is tightly scripted. It starts out with humble digging a hole to build a footing for his solar collectors by his henhouse. The show ends, as usual, with the Keystone Cops driving a car off the end of a dock.
The humorous and/or informative commentary that humble delivers between the songs is approximated below:

1. If you read the local newspapers you already know this, but I’m going to throw it in here anyway. A prisoner, who was recently out on work release, is suspected of swallowing a small balloon filled with drugs before returning to the prison. The guards are presently watching his every movement.
2. You know that I studied languages and linguistics at the University of Maine in Orono and at the University of Rochester in New York. I couldn’t understand transformational grammar but I was interested in the social mechanisms by which languages are changed. Every time I ask a Dutchman to explain a word I don’t know in a Dutch book I’m reading he will say, “We don’t use that word any more. That’s an archaic word.” If you are old, you can probably remember words that your grandparents used that you don’t hear any more. And you are now exposed to unique grammatical constructs, like, that you would never like have heard, like, 40 or 50 years ago. If I --- like, if I could like ---- think of one, I’d like tell you what it was.
3. When you can’t hear what people are saying, it makes you stupid. You sometimes give an answer that has nothing to do with the question. You can’t carry on a conversation. One November I lost my right hearing aid --- and that was the one that really did the job that needed to be done --- and I struggled along for years until I got two from the VA in Togus. You do learn to compensate when you can’t hear. You have to focus. You have to concentrate. You can help your brain process auditory input by shutting your eyes and eliminating the extraneous and often irrelevant ocular information. Although it helps me, the system has detractions. One night at historical society meeting when I was concentrating, someone took my picture because they thought I was asleep.
4. Would you want to run for President of the United States? It might not be a good idea unless you were conceived in a test tube and raised in a monastery, because for some strange reason you will be held responsible the actions of everyone you ever knew. They’d certainly have a great time with me: my first psychology professor committed suicide.
5. Remember back when Stephen King raised a fuss when he told some students that if they couldn’t read they’d very likely end up in Wal*Mart or in the army. Let’s hope he learned something from this: Always consider the consequences before telling the truth in public.
6. If you were to stop and think about it, you would realize that you know an illogical assortment of things that only a few people know. You are unique in that you are the only person in the world who knows what you know and who can do what you can do. You are a specialist in the field, when it comes to being you. Because you take what you know for granted, you don’t realize that a lot of what is in your head is not common knowledge --- until you see or hear something that makes you laugh or shake your head. Case in point. On a recent today show you saw an old 1939 movie of people walking along the street and going into a New York subway. But the background music was from 1923. Wouldn’t you guess that the reason they weren’t playing 1939 background music was because they couldn’t tell James P. Johnson from Benny Goodman if they heard it? It annoys me when I realize that this is the kind of useless esoteric information that has just about as much value to an old Maine man as being able to tell if you are well dressed or if the color of your furniture matches the paint on your living-room wall. --- The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing. I know many small useless things. I wish I knew one big thing that would enable me to earn a living.
7. A Rockport psychiatrist has published a book entitled, There Are Two Kinds of People in The World. The two types are quilts people, who are into delayed gratification, and fudge people, who are into instant gratification.
That’s why quilts are usually around forever and fudge hardly ever gets stale. And this is also why fudge people and quilts people get along so well. Quilts people enjoy watching fudge people eat up all that instant gratification, knowing that someday when their quilts are finished, they’ll get their rush. Whereas fudge people are in perpetual awe of anyone patient enough to wait months or years for anything.
8. Without productive, culturally-transmitted language, the proliferation of human culture as a whole would never have taken place. But how did language ever start? For years linguists advanced theories that would account for this singular human phenomenon. We have the ding dong theory, that is, that there is a mystic harmony that exists between sound and meaning. Man was able to give a vocal expression to every external impression. And we have the bow wow theory. That is, that man created language by imitating the sounds of animals. Others believe that man acquired language as the result of evolutionary changes in the structure of his mind. Now, I would like to advance the even more plausible itch theory. That is, that language evolved out of necessity when a man needed to tell his wife where to scratch his back. The first words ever spoken, were probably, “Up, up, over, no, the other way to the right, to the right, up, down just a bit, yah, yah right there. Go round and round right there on that wing.”
9. Two buzz words you might hear today are quality time. Parents are constantly urged to spend quality time with their children. One of the reasons this is difficult to do is because nobody seems to know what quality time is. The term has even overflowed its original parent childhood banks, and now is even used to express some mysterious relationship between married couples who have no children. A St. George woman, who seldom sees her 78 year old husband, complained that they never seem to share any quality time. The only time she sees him is when they go to bed.
10. My wife Marsha, The Almost Perfect Woman, and I were standing in the check out line at Hannaford’s so we couldn’t help but hear one very old woman say to another one, “I can’t stand in this line. My right leg is so stiff I can hardly get it off the ground.” And the other one said, “It’s my arms that bother me. In the morning I can hardly eat my breakfast. And my hand shakes so I can barely get the spoon in my mouth.” And the first one said, “I don’t have no trouble lifting the spoon to my mouth, but it’s getting awful hard to see the dish.” “See the fish?” “No, dish, dish, see the dish. I blame it on my pills. I’m taking 12 different pills which is probably why I’m always dizzy. Well, we’re getting old and these little annoying things are going to happen. But let’s be grateful --- we can still drive.”
Thank you for considering The humble Farmer.

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SD (Standard Definition) File

File Name of SD Episode: humble 2013 1215.mpg

Total SD Episode Video Runtime (hh:mm:ss): 00:55:56

File Size of SD Episode Video: 2,660,691,972 Bytes

Resolution of SD Episode Video: 720x480

Date SD Episode Video Uploaded: Thursday, December 5, 2013 - 01:15

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