Show: The humble Farmer

Episode: humble 2012 0415.mpg

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Episode Description:

The humble Farmer show for April 15, 2012, 56 minutes of old fashioned music and humorous social commentary, is a free download on PegMedia.

Well received in Northern New England for 34 years last week, this is the same old fashioned music and humorous social commentary show that has delighted young and old alike every week since April 6, 1978 for radio --- and now for television.

Music by: Clark Terry, Django Reinhardt, Erroll Garner, Ted Weems, Benny Goodman, and Denny Breau.

This show contains 6.07 minutes of Denny Breau playing guitar at a humor/music show Denny did with humble.

This week humble is joined on camera by his young friend, Sylvia, whose smile might well enable her to soon seize control of the entire show.

The video over the music is mostly footage from humble putting a new double pane window in the back of his 200-year-old farmhouse in St. George, Maine. Tame fare, indeed, for viewers expecting someone to be shot, arrested or blown up.

The show is tightly scripted. It starts out with three women trying to drive off in humble’s 1919 Model T Ford The show ends, as usual, with the Keystone Cops driving a car off the end of a dock.

Here's the approximate humorous commentary for The humble Farmer show for the week of April 15, 2012.
1. Stephen King raised a fuss when he told some students that if they couldn’t read they’d very likely end up in Walmart or in the army. Let’s hope he learned something from this: Always consider the consequences before telling the truth in public.
2. A while back you heard me mention a man who served 27 years in prison for a crime he did not commit. Robert in Bath says: “Have you ever met anyone who is not doing time? Everyone is doing time. Where you do it is the only question. I know guys who did twenty years in the merchant marines, or the army. But not me. I stayed at home.” Thank you Robert. And I can identify with serving time because the two years I served in the Coast Guard were the two longest years I ever spent in my life. I could never adjust to having to be somewhere and do something at a certain time. And my wife will testify to that. You will remember that back then we had a draft so I had to do my military time. I couldn’t run off to Europe to acquire a cosmopolitan education like I should have done between the ages of 17 and 25. Everyone knows that you can have a draft during peace time because all the rich kids can serve their time as officers in cushy office jobs. It’s only in time of war --- it’s only when officers would stand a chance of getting blown up that instituting a draft would distress your average congressman who has teen age sons.
3. An editor friend of mine called one day to tell me he’s doing a feature on me for his magazine. On one hand I’m flattered that he would think of me, and on the other hand I’m amazed that the general public would be interested in what I eat or at what time I get up in the morning. For over 30 years my life has been an open book. For over 30 years I have written newspaper columns about things that I hoped you would find interesting and entertaining. For over 30 years I’ve blabbed on the radio, hopefully in an entertaining manner, about what I’ve been doing and thinking. In recent years an enquiring public has been able to review my life and observations on dozens of humble Farmer web pages. I only mention this because of an email from this young editor friend who writes, “Robert, do you have any idea of how many stations are actually airing the show?” Don’t you find it interesting that we live in a quantitative society? One might well ask how much money I earn or how many women I’ve kissed over the past 60 years. My young friend wants to know how many stations are airing my radio and television shows. Wouldn’t you be more interested in a discussion of the quality of the material I scrape together each week? You and I could name a man whose radio show is carried by well over 1,000 radio stations. But is what he says likely to enrich the life of any intelligent person who hears him?
4. If you were going to have a television show about animals what would you call it? Would you have a contest just to see what kind of quirky names people would come up with? And what would you call your guests --- the pet lovers? Petaphiles? You can be sure someone would suggest that you call your show: Meat the pets. That’s m e a t. Which reminds me, you’ve heard me ask many times, why would anyone spend time and money feeding and raising and getting to love a pet that you can’t eat?
5. People who claim to be in the know say that if we drill and drain the earth of its last drop of oil, at the present rate of consumption we have enough to last forty years. Forty years ago I was in grad school and it wasn’t all that long ago. Can you believe that in that same short amount of time --- the blink of an eye --- every drop of oil on the planet earth will be gone? We’re talking here about draining it all --- off shore, Alaska, Florida, Iraq. All of it. All those past and future wars for nothing. There are people who would like to quit smoking, they know they have to quit smoking and they want to quit smoking, but before they do they still want one last drag on that last cigarette. Compare the smoker to the most conservative republican who knows that right this very minute we have to develop a new oil-free society --- but before we do let's screw our children and grandchildren by squeezing every last cent of profit out of that last drop of oil. How greedy and how short sighted we are. We thought nothing of having children and now we think nothing of using up the last gallon of gasoline on the planet. Never mind that the children we brought into this world or our grandchildren or our great grandchildren’s children might find a more practical use for that oil other than heating homes or running engines. Solar energy is, of course, the solution. We read that, unlike energy derived from coal, oil or nuclear power, solar energy will not pollute the planet. We also read that the sun is likely to be pushing this clean energy our way for the next five billion years. There is only one great problem with solar energy: unlike coal, oil and nuclear power which pollute the planet, solar energy is free. Nobody, up to a recent date, has figured out a way to tax it or sell it for a profit. Because there is money to be made in selling coal or nuclear power, you can expect to hear from a powerful lobby there. You can also expect to see the upcoming debates split cleanly right down party lines --- people who care about people vs. people who want more money. Yet, there is no question, that if we do not avail ourselves of this free solar energy and develop solar technology, within 40 years we are going to have a real Y2K. The world as we know it is going to shut down and we are going to be living in the society that my grandfather enjoyed in 1870. The solution is simple. We must develop a solar technology and do it quickly. But how many people in the world will presently admit it? Again, expect to see the debate split cleanly down party lines. We have less than forty years, but the you-know-whos will hang in there until the last barrel of oil on the planet has generated a profit. --- Nothing matters except that last drag on that last cigarette. Yes, sunlight is a valuable asset. Someday solar energy will certainly benefit everyone. But until the super rich figure out how selling sunlight can make them even richer, some of us are not going to live to see it.
6. Call them what you will --- crazy --- mentally ill. There are people out there who, for reasons best known to themselves, will follow you around. They typically appear out of the blue. Completely unknown to you, one day they call or they knock on your door and they won’t go away. These people are called stalkers and they can change your life. By the way, unlike many of our topics of conversation, I didn’t get this from my daily random reading in the Encyclopedia Britannica. Not too long ago there was a stalker in St. George, Maine, and if you are an inveterate gossip, your day just got brighter. Let me pass along what I have learned about her. She is quite attractive by local standards, and local girls might consider her a slacker when it comes to putting away chips, Cool Whip, beer and fries. She has money. No one told me she has money but isn’t it obvious? The price of gasoline has put your average stalker out of business.
7. People from away don’t know how to get things done. One day I had an old 2 car garage hauled in on a truck. Jerry came in with his back hoe, dug off the top soil, put down gravel, I built a form and cement was poured and setting up before the sun went down. It would take someone from away a month or so to facilitate an operation like that. Today I wanted an inspection sticker on my truck. The girl in the office said that the boss was away and I’d have to try to catch him some time tomorrow. I said that when I saw him I was going to tell him that he ought to double the salary of everyone in his office. She said for me to come down at 4 the same afternoon.
8. I once heard a famous writer say he could write a column on anything. He could even write a column on nothing. I thought it would be impossible to write about nothing, but then I saw the Republican debates. 050318
9. Someone told me the other day that someone had done a language comprehension study. The men in the study only heard every fifth word but it still made sense. If you’ve been married for over 20 years this is probably no surprise.

Thank you for considering The humble Farmer.

785 River Road
St. George, ME 04860


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SD (Standard Definition) File

File Name of SD Episode: humble 2012 0415.mpg

Total SD Episode Video Runtime (hh:mm:ss): 00:55:56

File Size of SD Episode Video: 2,638,518,625 Bytes

Resolution of SD Episode Video: 720x480

Date SD Episode Video Uploaded: Monday, April 2, 2012 - 12:53

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