Show: The humble Farmer

Episode: humble 2011 1120.mpg


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Episode Description:

Well received in Northern New England for over 33 years, this is the same old fashioned music and humorous social commentary show that has delighted young and old alike every week since April 6, 1978 for radio --- and now for television.

Music by: Denny Breau, Slam Stewart, Oscar Peterson, Clark Terry, Brad Terry, Stephane Grappelli, Gene Harris, Ted Weems and Bix Beiderbecke.

This show starts with 1.54 minutes of Denny Breau playing guitar at the schoolhouse in Monhegan.

This week humble is joined again on camera by his young friend, Celia, whose smile might well enable her to soon seize control of the entire show. Dr. Dick’s Dancing Puppets perform with Bix Beiderbecke.

Much of the video over the music shows humble putting up a wooden insulated cellar wall in his new cellar where he has put in solar radiant heat. Tame fare, indeed, for viewers expecting to see someone being shot, arrested, blown up, evicted from their homes or cheated out of their life savings.

The show is tightly scripted. Although the show came out one second short in the upload, the show ends, hopefully as usual, with the Keystone Cops driving a car off the end of a dock.

Here's the approximate humorous commentary for The humble Farmer show for the week of November 20, 2011.
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1. Because for so many years so many friends have written to express their thanks for what they call the wisdom they hear expounded on this show, if you will listen carefully and if you are ready to write it down I will exude a bit of practical wisdom right now. Never cough while your wife is giving you a haircut.
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2. Are you good at remembering faces? I might not be able to recognize you if you had supper at my house the day before, and I recently discovered that this is because I have a very annoying disorder that is called Face Blindness. In a German study 2.5 percent of the people tested have it. Face Blindness is more annoying than embarrassing when someone says, "I can't believe you don't remember me. I've been to your house four times." I'm not alone when it comes to having a memory that does not record faces. Doesn’t it remind you of those people who forgot to list on their job applications that they had been convicted of theft, assault, manslaughter and even cocaine trafficking? What an exciting life you must have if you can forget that you spent your last birthday in jail.
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3. Did you read about the Grandmother who was hospitalized after a pit bull attacked 3 people and killed a smaller dog? This is the kind of headline that attracts the attention of any student who seriously studies human behavior. --- Or a vet who gets paid to put down dogs. Did the picture of a dog biting an elderly woman on crutches come immediately to your mind? Or do you live in the part of Maine where proud grannies might be all of 30 years old? As a sidelight, would not this dog biting article also provide insight into the effects of education on social demographics? Here’s how you do it. First ask yourself what percentage of the 150 letters to the editor will be defending the dog. You then count the dog’s defenders and compare the semantics and orthography in their letters with the style of those other Mainers who would probably not put their child in a pen with a pit bull or domesticated alligator. Would you be surprised to find a clearly delineated dichotomy in the internal evidence? A while back some young radio friends asked me to marry them, and this pit bull story reminds me of what I said to those assembled at that wedding on that cool October afternoon on the coast of Maine. I said, “You will recall that a man who lived with wild bears and who spent all the time he could with bears was eaten by bears. Even more recently a man who loved sharks and other dangerous denizens of the deep came to a sudden and much publicized end when one of them killed him. You and I know that there are wild and uncontrollable creatures on this planet that may be toyed with for a while, but that at any time they are likely to turn on you. And yet, this afternoon, Steven and Alison have chosen to get married......”
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4. A while back a chimp bit a woman and we are still hearing about it. I’m not surprised to hear that animals bite people, are you? If it is a living thing with teeth, it probably bites. You must be very young or have lived a very secluded life if you have never been bitten by something. When I was around 7 years old I was up on Chestnut Street in Camden crawling around on the floor with a dog. And when I stuck my ignorant face in the dog’s face, the dog bit me. Never underestimate the ability of a young boy to mutilate himself. Dogs bite four and one half million people in the US every year. We read that in a recent year in the United States 33 people were killed by dogs. Every day in this country over 1000 people show up at an emergency room to be treated for dog bite. Yes -- every day 1000 people get such a bad dog bite that they show up at an emergency room. People bite people. It is so common that you won’t see it in the papers. Please permit me to say this again. In the U. S. alone in one year 33 people were killed by dogs. And every day 1000 dogs sink their teeth into human flesh so far that you end up helping to pay for it with your health insurance premiums. So please tell me why when a chimp bites someone it makes national news for years?
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5. Did you hear about the woman who said that robbers had locked her in her car trunk? It gave her an excuse for not coming to work for the previous three days. Police became suspicious when they looked in the trunk, because there were no signs that anyone had lived there for three days. Anyone familiar with the habits of bears in the woods would have become suspicious. If a bear or a fox or anything else lives in your woods --- or in the trunk of your car --- for three days, you will see signs. Why didn't that woman realize that if a person lives in the trunk of a car for three days, there should be signs? I think it's because she'd watched too many soap operas. On soap operas, they can tie a woman to a chair for a week, and if you give her an occasional drink of water and a scrap of food, she gets along fine.
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6. According to a think tank at Harvard, within 200 years sexual harassment will not exist in the work place. This is because if present sexual harassment programs are one hundred percent successful, in 200 years there won't be anyone.
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7. Speaking of sexual harassment, do you think I have a somewhat oblique sense of humor? You tell me. I recently walked up to a women I know fairly well and put my hands on her shoulders. I rubbed her shoulders and then ran my hands down over her arms and said, “Do you know why I’m doing this? I’m getting ready to run for president.”
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8. Speaking of presidential candidates being accused of sexual harassment, I recently kick-started my own political career. Please listen closely. As I walked into a church pew, I noticed seated in front of me a women I’ve known for over 50 years. I put my hands on her shoulders and rubbed them and then leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “Do you know the reason I’m doing this?” She smiled deliciously and whispered back, “Who needs a reason?”
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Thank you for considering The humble Farmer.

Episode Short Description: N/A

Downloads of This Episode:

[SD File Downloads]: 10

[HD File Downloads]: 0

[Total File Downloads]: 10

 


SD (Standard Definition) File

File Name of SD Episode: humble 2011 1120.mpg

Total SD Episode Video Runtime (hh:mm:ss): 00:55:55

File Size of SD Episode Video: 2,659,897,348 Bytes

Resolution of SD Episode Video: 720x480

Date SD Episode Video Uploaded: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 - 13:18


HD (High Definition) File


This episode has not been uploaded by the producer in HD format and is not available for download.

If you wish to have HD format, you can private message a request to the show's producer at The humble Farmer.